Wednesday, 2 November 2011

So what about Mum

So my journey has been a different one.  A rollercoaster, that is so unique, that every mother of a child with a disability or challenges can relate too,  but they will never truly experience the same journey. 
I knew Amber was different in the back of my mind from before she was born, and I remember the endless round of tests, the times I said well if she is sitting by 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, 10 months…… then it went to 14 month, 15 months…….but having a child with a developmental delay you just think they are going to catch up, except in Ambers case, and other children like her the gap just gets bigger.  In those early days you hope that there will be an answer, you fight for second opinions, you try endless drugs, endless therapies, hoping that you will stumble on something that might work.  Except in our case those drugs didn’t work, those second, third and fourth opinions, were not positive.  So you grieve, you begin to understand that the child you thought you would have is not the child you were given.  You either struggle, or you coming up fighting. 
Our child may not be like “normal” children, but what is “normal” anyway! she is our “normal” and today I don’t think I would want her any other way.  I love that I will always have unconditional love from her; that she will never answer me back; or stay out late; that she looks into my eyes with such depth; that I know that she is the bravest, most knowledgeable person I know, not because she has learnt Maths and English, but because she has learnt to read my soul, and she tells the most amazing stories just by the way she looks deep into my eyes. 
My life has become enriched and empowered because of Amber, I am a different person from what I was before she entered into my life.  She was been dealt this card, but she has battled to get to where she is today, she is the most resilient and strongest little girls there is.  Falling apart for me was never been an option, there were times, when it was extremely difficult, but she gave me the strength to get up every day, the strength to share her story so that we together may help others in similar situations such as our.  Together, we will hope, love and cure this devastating condition in what ever way we can!

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